Terms of Use & Conditions

Because I have them and here they are AND IT’S A MISERABLE READ. [FROWN FACE]

Last updated January 8, 2025

Here’s the thing. This is between you and I all the way little fishy. This is some water and you’re seeing it. It’s good until it’s not good [heart sign]. As of the date above on the left hand side, this is an Terms of Use & Conditions [“agreement”] between you [a.k.a. “the user,” or “you” or “your”] and I [a-joy art, “me,” “myself,” and “I'“].

Webbie Owner

I am the web owner - ajoy Art here at https://www.knottywoowoo.com. The email for here is knottywoowoo@icloud.com. Isn’t that convenient!? The email is the best way to contact a_joy Art/knotty woo woo.

As the owner, I also include affiliated companies, websites, software, and tools [it’s really just me, I have to say this because the legal-verse mandates this shit]. I’m referred to as {“a_joy art,” or “I,” or “me”]. This agreement, special as it is, between you and me, outlines all the rights and obligations that you and all users everywhere eating chex mix, share collectively with the entirety of with what is known as the website [which can include media forms, media channels, mobile websites or mobile applications related to little ole me]. The purpose of making this entire pain of an ass document is to discuss and state out the use of any content, software, or other tools on this here website [“services”].

Access

Your ability to access and use this website is entirely predicated on you agreeing and compiling with this here agreement. This agreement, obviously applies only to all users and not to me, because this how agreements work. If you, at any point, decide to flip me off and no longer agree or comply with this here agreement, well, you can’t use the website - period. No access or services for you! OUT! And take your little dog too. But really, have a cookie first.

On top of agreeing with these terms and conditions, you must also consent to the Privacy Policy - which is a real hoot to read. Really, you should go read it and the Cookie Policy. I worked bloody hard on both of them. At any rate, if you have to agree to both to be here accessing and servicing. The Privacy Policy is important because it humorously details how this website and little ole me collect, use and disclose all the details about your person to the entire world and what the policies and procedures there are in terms of how I can abuse this complete entitlement due to no fundamental protections of privacy in the United States. This policy, thankfully, covers what little rights you do have regarding privacy and protections applicable under the invisible law of protecting you the user. [Frown face] It’s advised you read it prior to accessing the website. I find that rather humorous because to read it you have to access the website - silly legalverse.

Humans under the age of 18. All other life forms need not worry.

If you’re a legal minor where ever you live, than you can’t access this website without permission from your guardian human whether that be a parent or a legal guardian. Friends do not count. If a human under the age of 18 accesses this website, I get the real pleasure of making a legal assumption. I like assumptions - ass-sumptions as they say - because that’s what I’m covering with this here legal ass gasket. That assumption is the guardian human, either parental or legal, has cleared the decision of the minor human under the age of 18 to use the website.

Humans called children who are under the age of 13.

I do not recommend any “child” human use this website. With that said, if said child under 13 uses this website, you better have a verifiable parent/legal guardian consent form to use the website. Really, you won’t have one because I won’t agree so hopefully you’re adult guardian will have enough sense to not agree. This consent, like above, is assumed so there you go. This covers the whole Children’s Online Privacy Protection clause in 15 U.S. Code sex. 6502 thing-a-ma-bob for the United States of America.

I make no claims that anything on this website that is content is suitable for any visitor who descends like locust on wheat on the website. It’s all largely subjective anyway, even if the law wants to do a provocative belly dance around angels on the head of a pin. At any rate, none of the information, data, or info provided on the website is intended for distribution or use in any location where such use is largely illegal, which would subject me to legal liability of any kind. Any access or use is strictly initiated by you, despite the cookies on the door step. It’s you - the visitor locust - who has all the legal responsibility here. Laughing. As usual.

Services

I don’t generally offer services but I do offer advice and direction just by reading whatever the hell you’re reading. This is important because it means you need to be discerning and read my disclaimers. Nothing I write here is tailored to comply with anything out their in industry-specific regulations [think like HIPPA]. You are responsible for you. Nothing here is intended for the purpose of providing you legal or medical advice for the purpose of treating you. You need to see a trained and licensed practitioner for anything I might say regarding mental health, spirituality, or spiritual/religious well-being, or overall well-being including references to medical and physical and psychological realities. Hell - anything I say about being human that could be construed as some kind of practitioner advice should not be construed in this manner. This website is not a therapeutic service oriented anything for anyone even if it offers help in ways that are atypical or typical for normal practices of healing.

Intellectual property - Mine, Yours, & Everyones’

Except where I say so, everything you see on this website is considered intellectual and proprietary information [“intellectual property”]. Think broadly here - content, artwork, designs, logos, unfinished shit, copyrights, audio, text…the whole soup plus the bowl, the stove, the silverware and your napkin, along with the ground you’re standing on. Nothing here is permitted to be copied, reproduced, aggregated, republished, uploaded, posted, displayed and on and on for commercial purpose without prior permission. Just ask fishy. I do protect creativity through copyright and AI scrapping protective software. Altering these things simply pisses me off and violates this here agreement. Anything that is floating here for your use comes in a “as is” reality. This means you need to read that terrifying section of as-is-ness.

User Obligations

Any information you share is accurate.
You have the capacity to agree to this here agreement.
You will not access this website by illegitimate means.
You will use the website in accordance with appropriate use and refrain from violating appropriate laws.

If you refuse, I get to tell you can’t use anything here. And I will. Thank you very much. No cookies for you!

Submissions

Here you get to submit comments. Really, that’s all you get to do. With that said though, anything you send here, including commenting via a contact form or the contact form itself, is assigned to me as intellectual property rights. That’s right fishy, it’s mine and you have to agree to this. You agree that I own it and that you cannot restrict me from disseminating it. Ahh, the Internet and legalverse. Because it’s mine, you agree to no compensation, or even acknowledgment of it as far as being yours and is now mine. I can disseminate this, by the way, for commercial purposes too so be careful what you send anybody with these kinds of terms and services.

Your responsibilities for what you post/comment/send:

By sending me anything, you:

Confirm you have read and agreed to the prohibitions section [next one]. This means you understand you don’t get to post, send, publish, upload, or transmit crap that is illegal, harassing, hateful or harming, defamatory, obscene, abusive, sexist, discriminatory, intimidating and bullying or threatening to anyone anywhere at any time. No sexually explicit nonsense, no trolling of any version, false or inaccurate shit which includes using deceit or being misleading. Yeah- you need to be a good pro-social human instead of a troll.
You waive any moral rights to whatever the hell you send me or comment [to the extent permissible by the Wizard of Oz - er - laws that apply to this stuff].
No confidential info.
You have the right, authority, and such to share stuff - in other words - it belonged to you and was original to you and you didn’t rip it off from someone else.

You are responsible for this which means you agree to reimburse me for any losses I suffer because you breached the intellectual property rights of third parties against my knowledge and are responsible for the sheer cluster-f you’ve now created.

Use of This Website: Prohibitions: Let’s all get inhibited, inhibited.

You are not prohibiting from having fun or becoming offended on this website. With that said, little fishy, the following ridiculous list is prohibited. It’s ridiculous I even need to publish this list.

You can not systematically or non-systemically retrieve data or content from this here website or its services to create/compile, directly/indirectly, a collection, compilation, database, or directory. You must ask me first. Why you’d want to do that is actually beyond me. But here it is.
Don’t be a trickster. Any attempts to defraud me or other users, especially to get special account information, is strictly taboo and will piss off the website god.
Any attempts to circumvent, disable, or interfere with security related features of the websites or services, including those that restrict copying of content or protected marks - Adobe would not be happy and neither would I.
Disparage me or this website on other platforms or otherwise attempt to harm this whole megillah happening here. That’s funny until it’s not funny.
Use information here to harm other people, gods, fairies, or any being real or imaginary - I mean really - just be a pleasant human.
Use customer service or contacts - really me - to make stupid, false, trickster claims to cause a lot of drama because you’re unstable and need therapy.
Use this website in any way that is not its intended use - for the record it’s suppose to be entertaining and informative. Don’t be a terrorist and do not use this for nefarious purposes. Get therapy instead, if you can’t control you’re bodily functions and impulses.
Engage in spamming, linking, or referring to other websites for really any purpose. I mean really, this all be adult here even if we’re wearing costumes.
No uploading nasty spooky spooky like curses, computer diseases of all kinds, or being a stalker on forms or comments. Just be a good pro-social human. I must say this many times.
No automation attempts to use the website like using scripts and theater to send shit, no mining for gathering, injecting, or just generally fuckery-fooing with the website or any of its bits and bobs. Have a heart or grow one. If the Grinch can, so can you.
Do not steal content, delete copyright marks, or any such tom foolery. And while we’re at it, no impersonating people either. Just do you fishy.
NO attempts at uploading shit. You have no permission and I shouldn’t have to list all the shit that can be uploaded. You know what I mean….graphics, pixels, web diseases, spyware or pcms. My gawd this is ridiculous. Do I really have to say this to you little fishy?
No creating an undue burden or interrupting the website. I do plenty of that all the time. It doesn’t need your help.
No harrassin others I don’t care who the hell they are- PERIOD.
Modify or download any portion of the website.
Use any data mining, robots, or similar data gathering and extraction tools - do you hear me AI people!
Reproduce, duplicate, copy, sell, resell, or exploit any portion of the website. This is not your side hustle thievery enterprise. You have better things to do. If you don’t, I have a list of productive chores.
No adapting of any software on this website. I don’t give a flying octopus what that may be - leave it alone.
Aside from the loveliness of internet browsers in general, it is prohibited until hell freezes over, that you may launch some kind of creepy crawlable spider, scrapper, robotty bots, cheat utility or offline reader, or using/launching any script or other software. Just stop with it will ya?
AI scrapping is not allowed you bloody cheats.
You cannot use anything here to advertise or sell goods and other services….you’d be a thief and that’s not like you fishy.
Selling or attempting to sell your shit on this website.
No competing with me using my stuff - none of my stuff. I already have problems.

Copyright Policy

Intellectual Property Infringement - otherwise known as hauling off shit for my own purposes. I get it.

Here’s the thing. I get it. I want to work with it and rectify anything that goes south on this here website. I mean that even if I’m using humor in the legalverse. I make every attempt to respect and comply with the intellectual property rights of others. I may goof out of ignorance but not out of willfulness. I will respond to any claims of infringement on any trademark or copyright protected under the law. It doesn’t matter what it is or where it is.

If you believe I have infringed on your rights without permission or authorization, PLEASE submit [as fast as you can], a notice to me with all your contact details including a detailed description of my goof - alleged infringement on your rights. We will get the matter settled.

If, however, you’re a jerk and are yanking my chain - meaning you don’t really own the intellectual property in question or do not have said authority to act on the owner’s behalf, you get to be held accountable for whatever damages involved, including if I have to hire a f-ing attorney to cover such misrepresentation. Don’t be a jerk, okay?

DMCA Notice and DMCA Procedure for Copyright Infringement Claims

You can always submit a proper notification in accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act [DMCA] by providing me with the following information.

The signature, either by physical or electronic means of the individual who owns the copyright [or their legal representative].
The all important description of the work in question that has been violated or infringed upon, including URLs [very helpful] where the work is presently floating. A copy of the work is also a viable way of describing exactly what is the problem.
All your pertinent contact details that would otherwise be required to appropriately contact you. If I don’t get this, it’s your fault you’re obscure and have no info. I don’t have a crystal ball.
An appropriate statement of copyright infringement and a good faith request for removal. Please be nice and speak plainly. “Take it the hell down,” works.
A statement by you that the info included in the infringement removal is accurate noting “under penalty of perjury” because we all know that’s going to make you truthful.

Upon receipt, the claims will be appropriately researched. Every effort will be made to put everything right, including removal of all infringed material, from the website. {happy face].

Third Party Website Content

I’m not responsible - that’s it in a nutshell. Actually, at times I may end up using some aspect of third-party services to make things here work better. I’m not responsible for them. Think content, privacy policies, terms of use….all that rot. If you get redirected elsewhere, you agree and acknowledge, to hold me harmless [rather than harmful] and without liability for any action that happens over there on someone else’s platform. I have no control over that shit. This includes holding me responsible for damages, any losses, or any other such nefarious claims. If they screw you, they’re probably screwing me.

Site Management

Basically, this means I get to monitor my website and any service I happen to offer for violations of this here agreement. I don’t know about you, but I need a cookie right about now. At any rate, I also can take appropriate actions against violators, including legal action. [frown face]. I can refuse restrict and otherwise regulate content. I also get to manage this location in a way that protects my own rights and property largely to make sure the website functions well. If you haven’t guessed it, I’m the goddess of this website. Don’t mess with my altar.

Privacy Policy

Yippeee! I have one! And it’s a lulu. Like this agreement, you’ll need to agree to the Privacy Policy which is now part of this agreement because I put it here just for you. See how that works? The privacy policy describes, frankly, the polices around your privacy. It covers how I collect, use and disclose your personal information. The policy can be found here and I recommend you read it - especially when bored or during a bout of bad insomnia. I’m pretty sure it will cure the latter and aggravate the former.

And now, to truly cover my ass as part of this here agreement, you need to know you are the one responsible for your data and what you transmit that data on this here website. As a result, you’re stuck having to agree that I have no liability to you for any issues like loss, breach, or corruption of data. And guess what? That means you get to waive any right of action against me if any of that breachy, corruption sorta of stuff happens. Like I’ve said in other places, this only looks like it protects you but it honestly doesn’t do squat. Really, go read my Privacy Policy.

Governing Law

The laws that govern me are in my own jurisdiction, not yours. Sorry. [frown face]. These laws not only govern this agreement, but also your access and use of the website. I bet you’re excited to read that. And here is the fun part - you’re use of this website may be subject to other legal entities like local, state, national, and international law which largely means my jurisdiction is the fucking universe at some level. I mean, international law? Okay. At any rate, it’s my jurisdiction with this caveat. It has to be said even if it makes no sense to either you or myself. But it’s all MINE!

Dispute Resolution

I honestly think any dispute resolution should involve cookies and a paint gun. But, I’m told this may not be a legal or an appropriate way of settling matters. At any rate, if you have a problem with anything here, this part of the agreement requires you to take the issue up with me as the first option. This means you will need to contact me. If we can’t solve whatever the problem is, you know it’s moving to meditation. This mediation process is a period of 30 days with each party committing 10 hours to the whole issue. 10 hours of your life is hereby committed to said process because 10 hours over 30 days is clearly going to work. Sigh. This isn’t my fault. It’s governed by the procedures of the United States Arbitration & Meditation thing-a-ma-bob. Like I said, cookies and paint guns make more sense but nope. All the costs of this requires, because you know it does, is shared by both parties - you and I. If that doesn’t work, I still can’t suggest cookies and a paint gun. Instead, it must move to arbitration where the dispute is handed over like a cat at the pound. Except here, it’s a binding arbitration in the jurisdiction [MINE! MINE!] of governing law.

I maintain the right to move this sucker - er- proceedings in the courts of the country of where you or I live.

As is:

There is no warranty of any kind that the content on this here website will meet your requirements, whatever they may be, including what ever end results available. It doesn’t even meet mine, so don’t feel left out. I’m learning about as is and imperfection every day all day, why not here with you? I also make no warranty that anything here will be compatible with your software, systems, applications, services, or devices including working without interruption, performance reliability, or the reality of being bug-free. I do honestly have pest control management but it just isn’t perfect. I never have a warranty for typos or defects of any kind even if they can or will be corrected. There are no guarantees or warranties of any kind here including whether the website is even operational, the information on said website is cool and usable, or for the the materials or products on the website. I will add there are not guarantees or warranties of a bug-free uninterrupted service here. I also can’t warranty that any emails coming from here or email are free of viruses, scripts, malware, timebombs, trojans or any other harmful code. This is the bloody world we live in you know.

Not all of this may apply to you since it involves legal parameters unique to various jurisdictions. With that said, all these exclusions and limitations stated here will be applied in the most supercalafriouscly way under whatever law is where ever it is - because the legalverse says so.

Indemnification:

If I’m involved with a third-party, this agreement means you will hold me harmless as well as my agents or employees or even beneficiaries, from any damage, liabilities, claims, more damage, harm or demand. This includes fees from the legalverse like attorneys. This involves the following crazy list:

Content on the website
Use said website
Inability to access the website and any services offered therein
Breach of this agreement [lol]
Breach of representation of warranties found in this agreement. Do I have warranties, I can’t remember.
Misspelling some of this jargon
Violations of rights, including intellectual property rights, from that third-party
Any overt harmful act of any user of this website or the services therein. Sheesh.

Because this is a grab bag of hell, I reserve the right - and at your expense because it really should be at your expense - to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter that indemnifies me. You agree to cooperate with this defense of claims AT YOUR EXPENSE. My gawd this is ridiculous. I will attempt in all reasonableness to notify you of any action, claim or proceeding subject to this indemnification situation. I must be aware of this for it to happen so cut me some slack, also at your expense, as I will notify you when I’m notified.

Notices:

Unless I tell you otherwise, all notices shall be sent to knottywoowoo@icloud.com. If I need to send you a notice, I will use your email address. If there is some legal matter that needs to be addressed which means mailing to a physical address, email the address above, explain, and the information you require will be magically granted to you.

Electronic Means:

This is all about the world of electronic documents we live in. This clause makes these documents like paper ones. Basically, when you access the website or anything it offers, items like emails, online forms, esignatures, or really any type of electronic digtalness, you’re largely consenting that all this electronic hoopla - communications, agreements, notices, disclosures and all of its cousins, sisters, dog’s gopher’s friends, satisfies all legal matters as if it were physically written. They are equal when it comes to paperwork of every kind imaginable or edible really - if you like paper and need some fiber in your diet. What makes this rather important is by agreeing you’re largely waiving any right according to the law of the land - er jurisdiction - same thing really - that require an original signature or delivery of electronic records. It’s paper to no paper - you know. In the end, where the law says paper paper, this clause says rock and scissors - electronic is suitable to you instead of paper and real signatures. That’s how I understand this. This is not legal advice and should not be construed as such - I’m just trying to make this shit make sense for my terms and conditions.

California Users:

If you file a complaint and you think I’ve done a simply lousy job attempting to resolve it and it goes unresolved, you can contact the Complaint Assistance Uniteof the Division of Consumer Services of the California Department of Consumer Affairs. Below are some ways to make contact - be careful of aliens.

Mail

1625 North Market Blvd., Suite N 112,
Sacramento, Ca.
95834

Telephone

(800) 952-5210
(916) 445-1254

United States Federal Government End-User Provisions":

If you are an agent of the US Government acting on behalf of that said government, this website and anything it offers, including jokes, hysterical laughter, plenty of cookies and tea, and an enchanted world, is done so under “commercial item” as defined by 48. C.F.R. Sec. 2.101. There you go.

European Union (EU) Users:

Just the umpteenth reminder right here that if you reside in the EU, I have a Privacy Policy you can go read and choke on so you know what specific rights and protections you are entitled too regarding your personal information. As with all this shit, I do attempt to be in compliance with it even though it really doesn’t do that much to protect anybody.

MISC.

This agreement is largely the whole megillah between you and I for the website. Any failure on my part to exercise [which I honestly hate exercise and my doctor constant gets after me for this - I wonder if I could refer her here?] and/or enforce any right or provisions held in this here agreement will not operate as some kind of waiver of any rights or provisioning. Sorry, no. I continue to reserve rights all over the place which include the ability to assign any/all of my liabilities, services, and yes obligations, to another party at any time I wanna. Passing the buck is my favorite thing to do in the legalverse - I guess. I am not responsible for any type of damage, loss, failure, including failure to act, delays, and the earth rotating on its axis improperly caused by an event that is not in my control. It’s totally unreasonable, you know.

And because I’m just an amateur here and mistakes happen, it’s important to understand that any part of this agreement that ends up being void, unlawful, something I can’t enforce, it doesn’t change the parts of the agreement that are valid and enforceable. Because the legalverse is literally an insane set of propositions of language this paragraph is here.

This here agreement, for clarity sake, doesn’t create anything between you and I like some kind of a joint venture where we explore the cosmos, employment, or any type of relationship or the website. You have to agree in this here agreement that this here agreement will not be construed by you as against me just because I published this here agreement on this here website. This is such hellish nonsense. I mean really. But there it is.

Because this is utter bullshit, you largely are not required to agree that you waive any defenses that you can assume under this agreement and the lack of signing it by any party…because well, because.

If, for some unfortunate reason, this document is translated, in any dispute the English version rules supreme. I bet you’re excited as I am about that.

I reserve the right to modify or replace these terms of use at any time. It is your responsibility to check these terms periodically for changes. Your continued use of the website following the posting of any changes constitutes acceptance of those changes. Because, well, because. Have a nice day [passes out].